Saturday, April 29, 2006

The Problem with Talking Dogs

Charlie (pictured) is getting bigger and bigger. He must be tipping the scales at 120lbs. by now, with no end in sight. That's great: we love big dogs; the bigger the better.

Problem is, Charlie likes to talk. And Charlie's brain seems to run counter-clockwise.

When he is HAPPY to see you, Charlie GROWLS. When he yawns, Charlie likes to close the drooly chasm of his mouth with a fierce rumble. When he wants you to do something for him, like fill-up the water bowl, he barks menacingly.

His tail is always wagging and he appears to be "smiling" the whole time. You could walk right up to him while he is "growling" and he'll happily lean in for an ear-scratch while the motor's still running in his mouth. He's a perfectly sweet, harmless dude.

But as he nears his expected weight of 200lbs., we're a li'l worried that those "friendly growls" will scare the bejeezus out of ordinary folks.

"What a great, big dog! Can I pet him? ..... Whoa! (snatching hand back) Ummmm, never mind!"

That would be a bummer.


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